Just like all of my "Not Me's" are a random selection of embarrassing things that I did over the course of several days, perhaps even weeks! All of the things that I don't want to own up to most certainly did NOT happen just today. That would be awful.
This morning I definitely did NOT delay changing a yucky diaper from my 2 year-old because he and the dog were having such a fun time chasing each other. They were definitely chasing each other and Ziggy was not just chasing Joey around with his nose glued to Joey's....ummm..... rear. I sure wouldn't let my dog chase my blissfully unaware toddler around just because he smelled like poo. Come on people. Nasty.
Speaking of nasty, I most certainly did not come back from my run this morning, start stretching, only to have Joey point at my shoe and say "Ewww Mommy, ewww." I wouldn't run until my foot started bleeding and then bled through up into my shoe. Not my perfectly lovely, wonderful, and sporty new shoes! Not through my brand-new-Christmas-present-from-my-sister-in-law nice running socks. Oh no! Not me!
You could not then find my husband laughing at me in the kitchen while I washed off my shoes with a toothbrush and soap trying to get the blood off. "Um, Laurie, shouldn't you be a little concerned about why your FOOT is bleeding?" I care way more about the limited number of digits that the Lord has blessed me with than this fleeting pair of (perfectly lovely wonderful sporty) shoes!
Lastly I did not subsequently shower with both of my socks on and also take a turn at them with my soap and toothbrush routine to get them equally shiny and new. (everything has since been restored to it's new-ish nature, but let's hope I don't step in any *gasp* mud)
And really lastly, I promise. I did not sit down to write this post and hear some noises and look around the room puzzled for a few moments until I realized that my CHILD was in the room in his bouncer. It's not like me to COMPLETELY FORGET where I put him in the house. Honestly, friends marvel over how easy-going these kids are, but you'd really have to be in our house or you just wouldn't make it! Now I just have to go find the other one....